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Top Ten Breakup Songs for the Empty Shell of a Person (Part 2)

Now that the holidays are over and we can stop pretending everything is fine, let us continue our plunge into ten of the best songs to listen to while crying into your bag of Doritos. Your ex might find you utterly disgusting, but we love you flaws and all! And so does your mom. Probably.

5.  Bif Naked: Crash and Burn


Some people seem to think that a little time apart can fix the fact that two people are completely wrong for each other in every possible way. They were impossible to communicate with in February, but June could be a whole other story! They play the breakup/makeup dance so many times it’s hard to keep track. Bif Naked’s Crash and Burn reminds us that some relationships are doomed from the start and sometimes it’s better to just call it quits.

4.  Social Distortion: Footprints on My Ceiling


This song describes the inevitable feeling the soon-to-be-dumped experience towards the end of a relationship. You suddenly feel less funny, less attractive, overall less hump worthy. It also begs the question, how is that supposedly special someone so good at being such a dick wad?

3.  The Buzzcocks: Ever Fallen in Love (With Someone You Shouldn’t’ve)


This classic song admits that sometimes we just pick the wrong person to fall for. They seemed really great even though all their past lovers despise them, they criticized you on the first date, and you had nothing in common. Not to mention the Beanie Baby collection. Sometimes we learn to recognize red flags the hard way.

2.  Fleetwood Mac: Landslide


No breakup song list would be complete without Landslide. I mean, c’mon. This was obligatory.

1.  Phil Collins: Against All Odds (Take a Look at Me Now)


No, this song isn’t something to rock out to, but if it doesn’t bring a tear to your eye you just might be a Cylon. Collins begs his ex to reconsider their split with honest, heart-wrenching lyrics we can all relate to. It’s a power ballad to rule all power ballads and will forever be my favorite “someone just stomped all over my heart” song.

Well, there you have it. Ten songs to heal your poor, sorry soul. Just remember that you’re special because you listen to good music and read and shit. They probably don’t even know what reading is. They also have a stupid face. So go find someone with a less stupid face. We believe in you.



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